Holding On In the Face of Doom and Gloom

At the end of a very rough week, I got a note from one someone who used to work with me.  She sent the following note to me:

“How do you keep from letting the turkeys get you down? Seriously, I’m looking for tips, because I see you continuing to work towards your vision, so I know you’ve figured this out for yourself (either that, or a lot of liquor). … How do you keep yourself energized? Usually I’m pretty good at this, but lately in the face of the budget, everyone’s all doom and gloom and it’s a lot harder.”

I read it Friday morning.  The week was so difficult, but I needed to be responsive.  I gave her some blah, blah, blah.  I talked about how difficult it is as a senior executive to find things to motivate you.  I said it wasn’t money or promotions or anything like that.  But, I was late for work and needed to finish the note later. 

I wanted to tell her the truth, but I needed to answer the question myself and didn’t have an answer at the moment.  Whining during bad times and celebrating good times are two extremes that for bad or worse, I avoid – and perhaps I need to work on that.  But, this particular day ended up being nearly as bad as the week.  I think I said the “F” word five times that day.  But, I needed to answer the question I got this morning, in spite of my mood.

Decimated budgets, endless scenarios, hiring freezes, questions from the press, an employee with bad news, and another one with total nonsense, and yet, I had to somehow answer a question for an amazing woman even though I found myself searching for answers and a way through these dreadful times.   I’m not sure I know the answer, but it’s important for me to find out and share with people like the amazing woman who asked me the question.  As I leader, if I don’t figure out for myself, I can’t help people I lead the bad times.  I do have a few things in my bag of tricks other than overeating, drinking too much, and sleeping too little.  Perhaps this answers the mail.

Hang out with energizing people.  Happy hour or lunch with people who make me laugh, make me think or just remind me to take deep breaths helps me tremendously.  I don’t like fake optimism, I’m a realist but someone who sees the glass half full helps me keep a constructive perspective.  Restaurant Week in Washington, DC is an amazing antidote for doom and gloom. 

Do fun things.  I had this same question before from my buddy, “F”.  He was going through a bad spell and asked me to give him something to do to get through.  I said, “Let’s go buy shoes!”  He stopped in his tracks and looked at me incredulously – then he laughed.  One time I was pretty stressed before an offsite meeting I was having with my leadership team.  I got there uncharacteristically early by 30 minutes.  I made a U-turn to the outlet stores in Queenstown, MD and decided that with a 20 minute round trip, I still had 10 minutes to shop.  There was a two-for-one sale that day and I saved a quick $100 … sort of.

Give Back.  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my so-called huge problems, I forget about other people.  I got a chance to play the piano as an accompanist for a couple of saxophone students.  I swear I was tired but I stood up for a few hours in a sea of reeds and valve oil.  But, I wore flat shoes and knit pants and looked around to see what really matters — those kids.  Sometimes we think more about our problems than about the people we serve. 

Get a theme song.  I went through my Gloria Gaynor “I Will Survive” era several job assignments ago.  I didn’t think I would survive that job.  I set up a reminder weekly that popped on my calendar every Monday.  I would open the reminder, read the lyrics and hum it all day.  One of my CIOs has “High Hopes”.  My current one, which I gave to the employee with the bad news, the day before she got the news, is “Hold On” by 33 Miles:

… if the tide sweeps you out to sea

When your strength is gone

And it’s hard to believe

And hold on, hold on

When the current pulls you under

And your heart beats like thunder

Just give me your hand

And hold on, hold on

Until the storm is over

And I’ll be fighting for you

Just give me your hand

And hold on


The message from the lyrics that answers the mail is the notion that doom and gloom doesn’t last forever.  And sometimes, you do get weary and need to be energized.  But, when those times come, hold on, have hope, and believe that the storm will be over … because it will. 

 Linda Cureton

Be My Technology Valentine

I was recentlyinterviewed by a reporter who was writing an article about me.  She asked me why I love technology somuch.  I paused, to try to think of apolitically correct answer that was becoming of a Federal CIO.  After a deep breath, I started to answer butthen I remembered that I was the technology chief of an agency that is highlyregarded for technology and innovation. Finally, I remembered that I promised myself that this was the year forTruth so not wanting to make a liar out of myself, I answered.  I really didn’t like technology all thatmuch.  Maybe I hate it, I’m notsure.  

In general,Valentine’s Day isn’t my very favorite day – not bad, but not my favoriteeither (my favorite is probably April Fool’s Day thanks to my silly siblings).Maybe I have too many memories of being a geeky goofy little girl who went toschool with Valentine’s Day cards to give out and brought them all back plus a few from geeky goofylittle boys.  

It occurs tome that my experience then is a lot like my experience now.  As I little girl, as it related to Valentine’sDay wishes, I didn’t have what I needed, and didn’t need what I had.  Technology is a lot like that.  As I type this blog, I am looking at an iPad,2 laptops, a blackberry and an iPhone. It begs the question; do I have what I need?  Or do I really need what I have?

When I wasin graduate school, I was writing my thesis on clever ways to compute theeigenvalues of the hexagon (if you have to ask what that is, it doesn’tmatter).  I had a cool new desktop backthen with a math co-processor.  But, hellif couldn’t compute those numerical estimates in my lifetime.  I was so frustrated and I had a thesis tofinish!  But, then for Valentine’s Day Igot a wonderful present from my husband – 256M of memory.  That was a great gift when memory cost alittle over a dollar a megabyte.  I had afast processor, but what really needed was fast memory.

I ended lastweek talking to my favorite Luddite, Ed. He’s got a big old clunky blackberry brick on his waist.  I asked him when he was going get aniPad.  He came close to cussing me outand challenged me to a race in words per minute with him and his brick.  I promised him that the piece of crap hecarried around would break, and then he said the technician as a whole box ofold ones ready for him.  Yep, Ed had EXACTLYwhat he needed.

I’ll endthis with a wonderful technology love poem especially for Valentine’s Day:

Beta is dead,

Ed’s Blackberry is Blue,

Technology is sweet,

But not if it doesn’t help you.

 Love LindaCureton, NASA CIO